i know a place we can go where you'll fall in love so hard that you'll wish you were dead.

One of those fucking awful black days when nothing is pleasing and everything that happens is an excuse for anger. An outlet for emotions stockpiled, an arsenal, an armour. These are the days when I hate the world, hate the rich, hate the happy, hate the complacent, the TV watchers, beer drinkers, the satisfied ones. Because I know I can be all of those little hateful things and then I hate myself for realising that. There's no preventative, directive or safe approach for living. We each know our own fate. We know from our youth how to be treated, how we'll be received, how we shall end. These things don't change. You can change your clothes, change your hairstyle, your friends, cities, continents but sooner or later your own self will always catch up. Always it waits in the wings. Ideas swirl but don't stick. They appear but then run off like rain on the windshield. One of those rainy day car rides my head implodes, the atmosphere in this car a mirror of my skull. Wet, damp, windows dripping and misted with cold. Walls of grey. Nothing good on the radio. Not a thought in my head.
 -Be Safe by The Cribs

I liked to listen to this song on really loud when driving. It's really quite good.

i am young; and i am lost

every sentence has it's cost.

it was amazing to see annette messager's work in paris, an artist who i have studied intensely in touching distance. just wish my digi cam hadn't of been playing up!

fmp one week in counting! i'll be sure to post some pics of the finished piece.

blinded by the sun and the sea

line drawings from my dreams, these have been drawn onto the mattress and will be embellishes with embroidered text. 10 days left of college!

                                                                           

 Sarah Richards via English Muse

ink indulgence

liking the idea of an arm tattoo. on display forever? when i'm wrinkly i won't care.

everytime i see fmp i think..

fuck
my
project

                                                         take me back to paris?

                                      please

insomnia is a symptom.

recently i have had great trouble sleeping. ironic considering my fmp is about that action of which i can not fulfill.
certainly dream documentation is causing me problems sleeping, as dreams and reality mesh. It is probably very unhealthy to be so aware of what i've dreamt. dreaming being a process through which our brains realises desires and anxieties of the day that have been pushed into the depths of our unconscious mind. i'm reliving these thoughts everyday in my work.

                                           plaster cast pillow (3rd attempt)

even when i'm sleeping, it's not a satisfying sleep. and fatigue follows. to the point where i'm disrupting my work. leading to anxiety. vicious circle.


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We must never, ever be boring.

This was just a quick break from my final major project, i think it messes with your head a bit when your so inside a project.
If you have read Invisible Monsters this will make perfect sense. If not go and read it, it this is probably one of the most influential things i have ever read. I did the same drawing from the same image last year, and i loved drawing it so much that i decided i would draw it again, i wonder if this one is any better?

I'm currently struggling with deciding between Loughborough and Leeds University, both of which i now have offers for.  I have weighed the pro's and con's and i'm still struggling. help!